Wonderfully Unexpected, a birthmother's story

Adoption changed my life in a way that is almost hard to comprehend. I had never imagined at a young age that I would be influenced by adoption, and really had never thought much of it growing up. When I was seventeen, however, I got myself in a situation which required me to think about adoption quite openly. I was living a crazy life style, and became pregnant in the spring of 2007 and had a beautiful baby boy in February 2008.

It's hard for me to express my emotions completely about this subject. When I first became pregnant, I felt that my life had been ruined forever, and now I realize that this little boy saved it. I was heading in a direction that before too long there would be very little chance, if any, to turn back and start my life over. I had no goals, no ambition, and really no plan for my future. When I became pregnant, I started to focus more on my future because I wanted a good life not only for my child, but also for myself.

There have been many days since I placed my little boy with his amazing family, that I have had to review back to nearly two years ago. On days that I'm feeling devistated and down, I think back about when I felt I had no where and no one to turn to, and how I was able to make the right decision then for my little guy, and me.

Now I'm living a life that I probably wouldn't have been able to have had I not chose to straighten out my life. I am happily married to someone who loves my little boy about as much as I do, and we are expecting our first child in March. Adoption has totally changed my view of the world and other people. It has helped me become more compassionate towards other people and also stronger and more capable of handling life's every day challenges.

I owe almost everything I am today to that sweet little boy, and even though I ache quite often knowing that he is not in my arms or in my home, I am so thankful to know that I gave him the chance to have a life he deserved and a chance to have a family that would be able to give him everything he needs and so much more. I always tell people that he wasn't an accident, he just came when I wasn't expecting him. He has been a little angel in my life, and always will be. I will always hold a special place in my heart for him and his family, and a strong belief in the amazing and wonderful journey that adoption can be and how it can completely bless the lives of so many, in the most unexpected ways.

-Shannon

Another Story of Love by: Paige Hansen

When I was 16 I found out that I was pregnant. I never thought this could happen to me. I was young and invinsible, I thought wrong. Finding out your pregnant and still a child yourself is hard in itself but on top of that there was still high school and worrying about getting a job and providing for this new found life. My first plan was to keep my baby, I would have been a great single mom. Of course I also had a great family that would help me in whatever I needed. As I thought more about it, reality hit home. How could I, still a child myself, raise one myself? Of course I could give him all the love and comfort he needed but what about stability? How could I cheat him on not having what I have, a stable home with a mom and a dad who are married and ready to be parents. How could I put my child through the heartache and confusion of passing him back and forth weekend to weekend from mommy and daddys house. It just didn't seem fair.

It broke my heart when the truth of adoption rang true in my heart. After many sleepless nights, tear-filled prayers and alot of help from my good friends I knew exactly what I had to do.

I beagan searching for a faimly for my child. They had to be perfect, someone that would raise him that way I would. I looked at many different familys but not one felt right until my cousin informed me of a family in her ward. She brought me their Birthmother letter and a packet of pictures and the moment I looked at them I new they were the ones. My heart filled with overwhelming joy and excitment to meet this couple. I finally got a chance to meet them and I informed them that they were the once that I chose to place my child with. Brittany and Jimmy promised me the world when they new they were getting a baby. They promised me pictures and letters whenever I needed them.

I was lucky enough to be an instrument to give this couple the gift they could not give eachother and I am very gratefull for that. Even though I was filled with joy I was also filled with pain and heartache. So many people were rude and said very hurtful things to me about just "giving up" my baby. I did not give him up, I gave him more.

Boston will be three this month and he is my pride and joy. Promises that were made to me were broken. My abundance of pictures were small and far in between. But I know with everything that I am Boston is where he is ment to be, with his loving parents Brittany and Jimmy.

My heart may never heal from the hole this experience has left, but the pain is bearable now. My arms may always ache to hold him but that too is bearable. Where ever you are Boston, I love you.
Paige Hansen
Birthmother story.

Lifting Burdens

When everything else falls apart there is always somewhere to turn. What a wonderful blessing!! Adoption hurts, even though it blesses the lives of so many people it still hurts.

What is there to hold on to when the pain is more than you can bare? When everything is unfair? When we feel unappreciated? Hold on to love. Love for that precious innocent child. Hold on to the appreciation your child will feel for you and your sacrifice! Hold on to the Savior. Seek the Father's advice, he knows what it is like to sacrifice! Hold on to the reasons!

This video entitled, Lifting Burdens is so good!! The Atonement is real and has a precious healing power that can remove even the deepest pain. It can be personally tested! I know it! I have felt it. Sometimes I forget and let the pain and frustration over take me, but when it comes right down to it....I know that I made the right choice. I know that I can be healed! I know that my little boy I placed will love me forever and that makes my heart leap for joy! I had a sweet experience with him in the hospital when I was with him in the hospital. I asked him if he would love me forever, he gave me a big smile and his eyes were bright and full of promise!

Somewhere to start

I have been asked to blog a bit about adoption. YIKES! Hopefully it turns out.

Yesterday I met with Sandy over at LDS Family Services and she asked me if I would like to be something like a birth mother liaison. I'm really excited! We haven't come up with an official name for me yet but I'm officially in! I already have assignments! I'm excited to get to know the girls more, I always learn so much from all of the girls. It'll definitely take me out of the comfort zone of my own little world but I'm excited to venture out and help others. Hopefully I'll do a good job. Lets cross our fingers and pray for a few miracles!

I've loved being involved with the adoption community so far, I have been so lucky! The doors have just kept opening up for me and I've been given so many opportunities to give back and return the love and support that I have been shown by SO many people!

I was recently a member of the planning committee for the Nationwide Adoption Conference. Talk about busy! I learned so much at those planning meetings and it was awesome getting to know a few more birth moms that share my passion with adoption. I am always amazed at the wonderful girls I get to meet all the time! I was invited be one of the birth moms on the main birth mother panel-I was terrified. I was the "newest" birth mom there. Everyone else had years under their belt and I just have one year....still working out the tough kinks that come with open adoptions. Hard work!! There was a birth father on the panel too, talk about touching! I don't think that I have ever really thought about the feelings of the birth fathers out there. I think that we have placed a stereotype on them when in reality they are impacted as well. I'll get more into that one a little bit later.